get the memo, Baby!

Not like consistency has ever really been MY thing, but I have been bad about maintaining any kind of schedule with posting.  Its hardly surprising, but it does annoy me.  It ain't looking like it is going to get any better though.

A week ago I got an infection in my PICC line.  It was pulled as soon as my white cell count confirmed infection.  It has been rough without it in some ways, but I have honestly been proud of how stable I have managed to keep myself and things were looking okay.

Then I had another doctor's appointment yesterday.  Baby Pinkie Pie went from measuring beautifully and hitting all the milestones she needs to, to being labeled an IUGR baby (intrauterine growth restricted).  Fancy acronym for "small, too small" baby basically.  I also learned that BPP stands for biophysical profile because I will be having one of those a week i
n addition to NSTs (non-stress tests, but I at least knew that acronym).  So I am now at the doctor twice a week and one failed test or lack of enough improvement from one week to the next means baby time.

I handled the news great in office.  It was about 3 AM that I suddenly realized how much I have to do and how much I can worry about.  Needless to say it was not a restful night.

While I am unable to DO a whole lot because I am sick still and weak, I am very much in planning and working mode.  Nesting times a bajillion yo.

The good news is that we are 33 weeks and my next BPP (which is the test I worry about "failing" more than the NST at present) will be at 34 weeks.  That is a good marker to hit.  Every week is a GOOD thing at this point.  I have been saying that I just want to get to March and that is still a great goal, but we will just have to take it day by day at this point.  Irony being what it is the little stinker could still make it to her due date and just give us a stressful last 7 weeks.  Ideally she will.  Sheesh.

Since I can do nothing for her technically, I am focusing on making the hospital bag, overnight bags for the kids, and getting a car seat picked out so we have the bare minimum stuff covered.  Everything else will work out and be fine, but I kinda have to figure that stuff out and I am lucky to know that with advanced warning.

Not sure how well I will post, but I do know that I *like* getting to write when I am worried or stressed.  So, hopefully I will get to do that a little better because it will help my sanity.  Even doing all the tedious explanatory PICC posts will help me, and I find that I share my posts in my support group more than I anticipated so I want those done in case they can help put another mama's mind at ease.  Pregnancy, parenthood, is unpredictable and overwhelming enough on its own.  The moment you add complications it just makes it even scarier and while it is cliche, knowledge IS power.

So fingers crossed I have lots of regular posts about baby still cooking and growing in addition to all the other stuff I have wanted to post and just haven't gotten to yet!