Saturday, June 1, 2013
Candy Crush is the DEVIL
Anyway, Candy Crush is the freaking devil.
Productivity is a questionable thing anyway. I mean really, I have such lofty goals and plans and most of them laugh in my face as they go down in flames anyway. It isn't like I need anything helping me NOT accomplish stuff. I am totally awesome at doing that myself! So when a few weeks ago I started getting a bajillion requests for crap from my friends on facebook for this game I was intrigued, but alarmed.
It is best to know yourself and accept who you are.
I know that I am an obsessive compulsive yet extremely competitive buffoon with absolutely no self control or discipline who also has a lot to do and never gets any of it fully done.
Games like Bejeweled and Words With Friends? Kryptonite to any resolve I may have otherwise magically developed.
So when my friends were all falling like moths to a bug zapper light I swore I wouldn't even TRY it. Wouldn't even LOOK at it.
I lasted three weeks. Seriously, I am actually pretty proud I made it that long y'all.
Because I am a sneaky junkie I didn't let it connect to my facebook page, thus I could hide my addiction. Then I got to level 35 and was told I needed my "friends" to help me move on.
As if making me wait 30 freaking minutes for a new life when I run out of chances to die wasn't evil enough???
Now I am dependent upon all the people whom I have been ignoring and diligently deleting their requests for help? Karma is gonna have fun with me as I send out my own pleas for help isn't it?
Yes. Yes, it freaking is.
I need three friends to help me move past 35 into whatever that chocolaty looking lake thing is and I have two. Everybody and their mother gives me lives but no one is given me whatever it is I need in order to make the bubble after 35 light up. WTF?!
I don't need lives people, it is best that I have a self imposed break of needing my lives to refill every 30 minutes. That means I may do something else for 30 minutes. Someone help me get into the choco-lakey-thing!
This is exactly why I didn't want to play this game. Because I knew what it would do to me. In my inability to move forward I have obsessively backtracked now with the intention/goal of beating the crap out of everyone else's scores on the previous 34 levels.
What started off as a "oh I am waiting in line" or "I have to go to the bathroom" game has turned into a "HAS IT BEEN 30 MINUTES YET?!" obsession.
Is there a 12 step program for Candy Crush? Or does someone just want to give me whatever it is I need to get to level 35 and continue this vicious love hate cycle?
Only 21:17 to go ...