I heart easy gifts a latte

I love this time of year.

Not.

I am a total stressed out humbug this time of year, but generally when you tell people that they look at you like you just said you drink kitty blood.  While I don't think it is quite on par with that, I do get that for some people the Santa cutesy aspect of this time of year is something they spend a lot of time and energy on looking forward to.  Myself, I don't completely get it, but I am trying.

I do, however, like letting people know you love, cherish, appreciate them.  Don't want to seem overly tacky by ignoring them.  Or, you know, whatever.

Whilst we cannot call them "Christmas" gifts, we can call them Before-You-Go-On-Winter-Break-and-Happy-New-Year-gifts, I do like to make sure we give something to the teachers in our lives around now.  It is a nice gesture, and I do like being nice.  Mostly.  Sometimes.

Okay I will stop assassination my own character long enough to just share!

I already showed you how to glue your hair and rip the skin off your hand, AKA: make homemade hand scrub in cutesy little jars.  Meatball's teachers got one of those, but I wanted to give them something else.  After all, they follow me on Pintercrack so there is a good possibility they will realize this "gift made with love" is nothing but sugar and dish soap. 

So I put this together:

Not the best picture, and yes they are sitting on  a dog kennel, but seriously they are cute once you get past all that!

I made the tags on the computer, cut them out so that if could fold like a card:

Then I made a little slot across the top of one side of the card so that the gift card I had picked up from Starbucks would slide in.

I always say that Starbucks gift cards a a good call even when you aren't sure your teacher is a coffee drinker.  Three reasons:

1.) Odds are if you teach, you consume caffeine in some form.
2.) Starbucks does have things other than coffee, one of my former colleagues saved hers throughout the year and spoiled herself all wither with hot chocolates.
3.) Like sending cigarettes to people in prison, Starbucks gift cards are a valuable trade commodity   Its like currency, and the re-gift potential is high and always appreciated 

Back to the point now ...

Starbucks card in there, now glue everywhere the card doesn't sit so it seals and makes a nice little pocket for the card to rest in.

Ta da!  Now tie it on the the bag with the homemade pomegranate scrub and boom!  You have yourself a cute gift!

The picture quality is quite terrible, for that I do apologize.  Just trust me, they were really cute!  Since it says nothing about winter, or Christmas I can totally re-print these bad boys and use 'em again with no problem!  If I knew how to share the file, I would.

mod podge, hair "gel," and cheapo x-mas gifts

Sometimes even I can be amazed at my own ability to be overly confident.  For Christmas this year I decided that somehow I was capable of not only being crafty, but sewing.  I don't know what the hell I was thinking with the sewing part, but that is a separate post that I will probably drink my way through writing ... and sewing, I think it may improve my odds.

This post?  Well I thought this would be easy, after all I have done this stuff before.

Remember my easy yet cheap gift for my mother?  This one?

Yeah, all of two ingredients, Dawn dish soap and sugar, and you have a pretty scrub.  I foolishly signed on to make about a million of them for a baby shower  which was adorable by the way.  Here is a picture of the blue version since the mama-to-be was baking a baby boy in her oven:

So by the time December rolls around I am like a scrub-making-bad-ass.  Done it a few times, can't possibly screw it up.  Right? HA!

I made the scrub without a problem, because honestly it is that easy.  But then I looked at that jar and I thought to myself "Self, I don't have any more cute spoons.  I need a pretty label!"  So I sat down and I made these.

So far so good, ultimately.  I am not a thousand percent pleased with the label but I needed to glue those babies on and get my jars drying because some of my presents were getting mailed and I needed to get on that.  So out comes the Mod Podge and in comes all those opportunities to screw stuff up.

How to Eff Up EASY Christmas Gifts in Twelve Simple Steps:

Step One: Gather your supplies.  This should be easy, make your scrub following the directions found here, and pour into the jars of your choice.

Then grab Mod Podge, and something to paint it on with.  Side note: If you are going to use a really cheap brush you happen to have and intend to just throw away when you are done please note the odd pricking sense of foreboding you have because the brush is about to be your downfall.

Step Two: Nearly rip all the skin on your hands off trying to open the murther fracking Mod Podge that has sealed itself within the bottle.

Step Three: Put some Mod Podge on the top of the jar.

Step Four: Put one of your labels on top of the Mod Podge.

Step Five: Start putting Mod Podge on top of the label.  This is when shit starts going wrong.

Step Six: Realize that the ink from your printer is smearing and you need to use fewer brush strokes.

Step Seven: Realize that your cheap assed brush is shedding hairs into your pretty Mod Podged labels.  Try to pick it out and swear at it without smearing additional ink around.

Step Eight: Run your hands through your hair in frustration and realize you just Mod Podged your hair into a pony tail.  There is no picture accompanying this damn step.

Step Nine: Realize that you might have just Mod Podged the goshdamn lids and/or rings on to the jars and remove/wipe as necessary.

Step Ten: Add another layer of Mod Podge while still picking out hairs from the brush and feeling your own hair solidify.

Step Eleven: DO NOT TOUCH THEM.  Just leave them alone, you have done enough damage, let them dry.

Step Twelve: Remember to put a hat on before answering the door for the FedEx guy because you haven't had time to take a shower so you still look suspiciously like a scene from Something About Mary.

So with all this success rolling around the house I decided today is not the day to attempt sewing, something I cannot do well at on a good day.  I figure when I need to chisel my hair we can safely assume this is not a "good day."

There is the finished, not wrapped product.  Not quite as cute as I pictured, but at least no one knows what I was aiming for.  Without that mental image to compare it too I think they work just fine.