mod podge, hair "gel," and cheapo x-mas gifts

Sometimes even I can be amazed at my own ability to be overly confident.  For Christmas this year I decided that somehow I was capable of not only being crafty, but sewing.  I don't know what the hell I was thinking with the sewing part, but that is a separate post that I will probably drink my way through writing ... and sewing, I think it may improve my odds.

This post?  Well I thought this would be easy, after all I have done this stuff before.

Remember my easy yet cheap gift for my mother?  This one?

Yeah, all of two ingredients, Dawn dish soap and sugar, and you have a pretty scrub.  I foolishly signed on to make about a million of them for a baby shower  which was adorable by the way.  Here is a picture of the blue version since the mama-to-be was baking a baby boy in her oven:

So by the time December rolls around I am like a scrub-making-bad-ass.  Done it a few times, can't possibly screw it up.  Right? HA!

I made the scrub without a problem, because honestly it is that easy.  But then I looked at that jar and I thought to myself "Self, I don't have any more cute spoons.  I need a pretty label!"  So I sat down and I made these.

So far so good, ultimately.  I am not a thousand percent pleased with the label but I needed to glue those babies on and get my jars drying because some of my presents were getting mailed and I needed to get on that.  So out comes the Mod Podge and in comes all those opportunities to screw stuff up.

How to Eff Up EASY Christmas Gifts in Twelve Simple Steps:

Step One: Gather your supplies.  This should be easy, make your scrub following the directions found here, and pour into the jars of your choice.

Then grab Mod Podge, and something to paint it on with.  Side note: If you are going to use a really cheap brush you happen to have and intend to just throw away when you are done please note the odd pricking sense of foreboding you have because the brush is about to be your downfall.

Step Two: Nearly rip all the skin on your hands off trying to open the murther fracking Mod Podge that has sealed itself within the bottle.

Step Three: Put some Mod Podge on the top of the jar.

Step Four: Put one of your labels on top of the Mod Podge.

Step Five: Start putting Mod Podge on top of the label.  This is when shit starts going wrong.

Step Six: Realize that the ink from your printer is smearing and you need to use fewer brush strokes.

Step Seven: Realize that your cheap assed brush is shedding hairs into your pretty Mod Podged labels.  Try to pick it out and swear at it without smearing additional ink around.

Step Eight: Run your hands through your hair in frustration and realize you just Mod Podged your hair into a pony tail.  There is no picture accompanying this damn step.

Step Nine: Realize that you might have just Mod Podged the goshdamn lids and/or rings on to the jars and remove/wipe as necessary.

Step Ten: Add another layer of Mod Podge while still picking out hairs from the brush and feeling your own hair solidify.

Step Eleven: DO NOT TOUCH THEM.  Just leave them alone, you have done enough damage, let them dry.

Step Twelve: Remember to put a hat on before answering the door for the FedEx guy because you haven't had time to take a shower so you still look suspiciously like a scene from Something About Mary.

So with all this success rolling around the house I decided today is not the day to attempt sewing, something I cannot do well at on a good day.  I figure when I need to chisel my hair we can safely assume this is not a "good day."

There is the finished, not wrapped product.  Not quite as cute as I pictured, but at least no one knows what I was aiming for.  Without that mental image to compare it too I think they work just fine.

wasn't this supposed to be easy?

Keeping in mind, this multi-step project was launched in an effort to be lazier than the inspiration pin from Pintercrack, you may be wondering by now if I actually saved any energy.  Since this is actually not my final reveal on the !@#$% chore sticks I must say I am wondering that as well.

The sticks are done, but the container, well it was hideous.

I had this in my classroom back in the day, and frankly, "hunting orange" is okay in a classroom.  My house? Not so much.  So I busted out some Rustoleum spray paint that could go on plastic that is supposed to look like wood.

Sprayed it on the driveway while it was eight million degrees outside.

So now it is a nice shade of brown.  It needs pep.  So I add hemp.

Then I add a little more hemp.

And I try to melt a plate.  Twice.

Now I stick the sticks in the basket.  

It is usable, but not labeled.  Meatball knows where everything is supposed to go, but I don't remember which section is "done" and which section is "not done."  So now I need to make labels for it so that I don't mess his system up.

Also, he ever so {insert eye twitch here} kindly informed me that having four compartments is nice, but really he would like a fifth.  Huh? Why?!  He explained, I zoned out ... hey, don't lie, you do it to your kids too.  Ultimately, I needed another container or something.

That was when I heard the Mod Podge calling me and I made a honey roasted nuts container look purdy.  

Mod Podge under the paper, then over the paper

Used a scrap to cover the little gap where it wasn't long enough

And POOF, I am a little closer.  Now I need labels.  Sigh.

(Yes, I am playing with an online photo editor and using all sorts of weird frames.  Hang in there, it will be out of my system soon.)  

the lazy crafter

Just to keep you feeling confident that at least you are a better person than me, hows about we detail this dafuq moment mentioned in an earlier post?

Sometimes you pin stuffs on Pintercrack and you are like "oh my freaking gawd, that is brilliant!  I will so do that!" even when you can see that it isn't exactly in your typical repertuar.  Case in point, chore sticks.

wow, just wow

ah-door-ah-bull!

Boredom Jars are awesome too!

Brilliant use of popsicle sticks in my ever so humble opinion.  Since the oldest of my minions is a bit ... oh how shall we say this ... completely scatterbrained? would lose his head were it not attached? has the attention span of a fly with ADHD hopped up on Code Red Mountain Dew?  Yeah, that sums it up.  Meatball is a great kiddo, but we have our issues we work through -- like how he can do long division in his head and tell you anything you want to know about any dinosaur that ever lived, but will forget the most obvious things, like one sock.  So chores are important, but, remembering to do them can be a challenge, especially when summer strikes and your old schedule and routine is suddenly worthless.  Yikes.

Chore sticks be a great plan den mon because you have to physically move them, which (teacher moment!) activates a different section of the brain and can help stimulate his tactile mind.  Helps him remember, makes him more into the idea, and gives him a sense of success when he sees the stack of "done" sticks.  So I found this one here that I thought was totally awesomesauce.

seriously, it is awesome

just a sample of a few sticks

And it is awesome beyond all reckoning.  I love it ... but I guess I am a lazy crafter because after cutting all of those out, sorting the stuff that I wasn't going to use (snow related ones, for example), and gluing about 20 of them on I wanted to make sure that it worked before I did anymore because I wasn't even half way yet.  That is because I was already beginning to get twitchy and wanted to see something finished.  So I trimmed edges, and sanded, and ModPodged one ... and while I like, even love, the final product, I just felt a bit deflated.  I get that in theory I will never have to do them again, so the effort is worth it, but I am kind of an instant gratification gal.  And this project certainly was leaving me less than instantly gratified.

So after all of that, I decided to shelf this one for the moment.  To be honest, I have images of paint and Sharpie marker running through my lazy head, and I am okay with that.  So we shall return to this project.  Soon.

I also needed to come up with a different storage system because I didn't have this spiffy cup.

All the alternative containers I saw on Pintercrack were adorably done, but am I the only one who thinks having my kids routinely touch glass mason jars when they are trying to hurry through a task is a great way to make a faboosh and dangerous mess somewhere down the road?  But I already have that idear covered, so I will share that with you when I do the project and have the final reveal.