Anyhoo, I broke the space-time continuum. Twice. In my kitchen.
For realz, and I gots pictures to prove this!
That is a drawer in my kitchen. Now a word about my kitchen ... no, a few words: Its small as hell. Actually, I imagine hell is a lot bigger, I haven't been there. Yet.
You cannot simultaneously open more than one thing and still move through my kitchen. Not possible, unless you can fly over everything because it does have a high ceiling. I have a grand total of four drawers in the whole thing. Exhibit A is one of them. Not like we have lots of space, right? Right.
So I was trying to get a chip bag clip out of this drawer and it was stuck. Firmly lodged and pinned with other clips and some other crap I could barely identify because I realized I couldn't actually open the drawer the whole way. When I thought about it, I haven't been able to pull that drawer out more than a couple of inches in a long while ... please tell me I'm not the only loser who has epiphany moments like this?
I can't open a drawer because its full of too much shit.
I haven't been able to open this drawer in ... um ... well ... its been a while.
At the risk of fully humiliating myself (ha, you people don't actually know me!) it hasn't been truly, all the way opened since 2009 apparently. I know this based on 2 of the contents I eventually removed from its depths.
- 3 Glade Plug-Ins plug in things
- 1 other Plug-In from Bath & Body Works (I think)
- 3 Plug-Ins from Target, but I don't remember the brand
- 1 LED nightlight
- 1 bottle 100 count Benadryl (for the dog)
- 2 bag "bottle" toppers
- 1 can-turns-into-bottle topper
- 1 huge strip of twist ties
- 1 pedometer
- 1 flip flop lighter
- 1 plastic bookmark
- 1 small pair scissors
- 1 strip of 3M sticky things ... not sure what for???
- 1 Scotch tape dispenser
- 1 pack of Trident gum
- 1/2 pack of Bubble Yum
- 3 business cards
- 1 glue stick
- 1 plastic thing that looks like it came out of a cereal box but I can't identify
- a shit ton of Post-It Notes in various sizes
- 2 huge chip bag clips
- 6 small chip bag clips
- 2 small metal clips
- 1 broken mini-bag clip
- 1 dog tag
- 1 house key (?) still on packaging from store
- 1 how-to knot tying thing
- 1 really old tool that I can't identify
- 1 metal thingy I can't identify
- 1 ASU bottle opener that sings the Fight Song when used
- 1 AAA battery, probably dead
- 1 mint tin from a wedding (in 2009)
- 1 coupon for Clorox Anywhere Anti-Allergen spray (expired June 30, 2009)
That is 46 separate things plus "a shit ton" of Post-Its crammed into 247.5 cubic inches of space.
So I have managed to at least bend the space-time continuum all so that I could store a bunch of crap.
Part Two about my enormous scientific advances deals with my itty bitty pantry ...