Monday, February 3, 2014

I'm a vinegar masochist

Vinegar.  I have such a love hate relationship with the stuff.  If it could only smell more tolerable I would amend that to a "love love relationship" but no.  Instead vinegar smells like a 16 day-dead-jock-strap.  And yet, I clean my house with it.  Go figure.

A few weeks ago my husband, who is still living by the way even after this, talked me into trying some brilliant idea.  Lured by the promise of "it is cheap" and "it is green" and the promise that he found the idea on Pintercrack -- therefore lending it complete credibility! -- I agreed.

The idea, my friends, was to give up shampoo and conditioner and trade them in for baking soda and vinegar.

Oh. My. Gawd.  Yes, I was that stupid.  I took hair care advice from a dude who takes style cues from Mr. Clean.

Uh huh, bald dude told me what to do with my hair ... and I listened.  I must be some kind of masochist.

Anyway, there isn't much to blog here.  I tried it.  It was gross, as it turns out Bunyan and Pintercrack are not 100% reliable.  I tried to document it for the purposes of blogging but seriously I was so repulsed by myself that I only have one picture and I shudder to share even it.

Not a great quality, I know, but it felt like an oil spill happened on my head.  The picture really does it no justice at all.  It was such an odd combination of clean and filthy at the same time.

Proponents of this (seriously, search it on Pintercrack there are a LOT of people who swear by this) rave about how soft their hair is.  Uh huh, my hair was uber soft.  Slick even.

They call it "no 'poo" and I am not even going to touch that one with my immature sense of humor.  But here I am at the moment I decided the experiment was over and I was going to just wash my hair with REAL shampoo and conditioner.

I am sure I sounded like those old Herbal Essence commercials for that exceptionally long shower where half of a bottle of shampoo was used.

But I have to counteract this hideous and repulsive tail with a vinegar-that-works story.  Brace yourself, because this time I didn't bathe in it ... I drank it.

At this point you are either thinking "oh my gosh she is a total bad ass!" OR you are mortified that I can be this stupid and still survive.  Maybe a combo of both.  But desperate times call for desperate measures, my friends.

I had a sinus infection.  The Death Bug of 2014 had struck and slowly claimed everyone then really took me down.  It was a weekend and in my blurry desperation I searched for home remedies.  I found two, one I will share later because it was worthless to me then because it has to sit in the fridge for a bit to work.  The other was Apple Cider Vinegar.

I followed this recipe the first time and nearly hurled, which would have probably helped with the congestion temporarily but was not what I was hoping for.  The second go round I threw "healthy" to the wind and seasoned the hell out of my drink until it was tolerable-ish.  The end result is this recipe, keep in mind I am not a doctor I just play one on blogger in name only.

2 tablespoons unfiltered apple cider vinegar (don't use the crap that looks like apple juice because it won't work and you will needlessly suffer!  I used Braggs)
3/4 cup apple juice
1/4 cup (or there abouts) of water
As much cinnamon and honey as it takes to make it tolerable (I use an obscene amount)
Ice (because if it ain't cold you will never get it down)

Mix it all together and I drank it twice a day ... and seriously I felt better within 10 minutes of the first drink.  No joke, I had to see remarkable change after that first drink to even consider trying again.

Apparently ACV has tremendous health benefits, so since I can choke it down (though I may develop diabetes in the process) I have kept up the drinking to see how it goes.  I am not very good at remembering the twice a day thing, but I have pulled off once a day by making it ahead in a jug and shaking that mofo like mad when it is time to drink.    

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