Friday, March 7, 2014

puke & paracord ... Happy Birthday

So it is my birthday.  I am not a particular fan of this day, and it has nothing to do with aging or anything like that.  Usually this day just is fated to go poorly for me.  From family deaths, to car accidents, to other really bad news, and even a case of pink eye *shudders* all bad things seem to find an epicenter in March 7h for me.

So generally I don't really do much ON my birthday.  In previous years I would say that more as "I don't celebrate my birthday" but then I realized that out of respect for me people where just pretending the day didn't happen at all, which made me even more sad which is stupid since they were doing precisely what I asked.

This year has been fairly typical of my birthday and the days surrounding it.  At present I have a close family member going through a pretty difficult court case (of which they are the victim), another family member getting biopsied, blah blah blah ...

On this day in history?  Hitler invaded the Rhineland, an event that ultimately launches World War II.  There are bombing and other horrible things, but I am not sure that statistically speaking they have a greater incidence on March 7th, its just that I take them personally.

If Armageddon is gonna happen ... well let's just say I would have all my affairs in order and a nice bug out bag packed 'round this time next year.  If it is this year, we are all screwed anyway.

So I was dreading today a bit, and I will tell you that I hardly want to jinx things by being all "today will be great!" or "today will be horrible!" but I do have to tell you that at least one bad/good thing happened already.

It is bad/good because it is both, but the end result is good.

See, I was awoken at about 4:32 AM to the sound of my dog rapidly licking his lips.  This is his equivalent to a child leaning in close and saying "Mommy, I feel like I am going to ... BLEEEEEHHHHHHH" and puking on you.  So I flew out of bed right as the retching started.

Remember how my dog is a paracord eating moron?  That was ages ago, right?  Yeppers it was!  He was sick for a few days, then fine.  We thought maybe he didn't eat it and we were mistaken?  Maybe he hid it somewhere?  He was totally normal acting for a few days.  Then boom, he had the pukes again and brought up about 2 inches of a thick paracord bracelet.

Again, a couple days of him needing to gag and puke ... only at night which means that someone needs to research the correlation between dogs and children having a fundamental need to disrupt your sleep.  But then, poof, he was fine.

He has been fine since, but his appetite has been less.  Given that he wasn't throwing up and I wasn't sure if maybe it was because he wasn't being too active I didn't worry.  After all, he was still eating and acting like himself.  He just wasn't as desperate to eat as he normally is.

Then this morning's puke episode gave my my first birthday present.  About four more inches of paracord bracelet.

I will spare you the details, y'all.  It.  Was.  Gross.  Like seriously, I have an ironclad stomach and I totally was doing the dry heave while cleaning that up.  It was in there for waaay too long.

So at least the whole bracelet has been accounted for and we can hope to move on without dog vomit invading MY sleep any longer.  Thank heavens for little miracles?  Happy birthday to me!

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