Monday, November 19, 2012

lies Pintercrack tells

Obviously, I have a love/hate relationship with Pintercrack.  This isn't part of the IK4T series, this is just a separate rant.  I call it LIES Pintercrack tells me.

You know how you see those "zomg this is so brilliant" pins and you think to yourself

Self, the person who pinned this isn't a total dumbass.  
That must actually be a good idea!

No? Only me? Okay, well anyway, lets pretend you do get it.

Sometimes I discover totally earth shattering stuff on Pintercrack ... like this little ditty about Tic Tacs.

Why the hell isn't that like on the label or something?

Then there is this faboosh little life altering product.

How awesome is that?  I mean there could be nothing worse, nothing more embarrassing than getting your hair in your noodles when you are eating ... right?

Then there is always these amazing gift ideas you find ...

Sorry, that one just makes me laugh.  Back to the point.  This is what the remainder of my mindless rant will be about.  

But when I saw this the first time I actually had a mini heart attack.  This was before the great Allergy House Purge of October 2012, and pancakes and waffles were a huge dietary mainstay in the Dr. DomesticRocket household.  Meatball would proudly proclaim that I had the best, the best, recipe for waffles ever and would eat them for all three meals a day had I let him.  By the way, if you would like my "best ever" waffle recipe it is the one on the back of the Bisquick box.

Being that I made batter-ey things pretty frequently I saw that picture there and was pretty amazed.  This could do for my pancake baking what koozies did for tailgating.

So I tried it.  In fact, it was like record pin-to-reality time because we happened to have a very close to empty ketchup bottle in the fridge that made the boys laugh hysterically whenever you tried to use it.  (hehehe, mom, the bottle farts!)

So within days I was making up my batter and cleaning out a ketchup bottle excited and optimistic that I could not possible screw this up.

Famous last words.

Problem Numero Uno: Who the hell wants to clean out a ketchup bottle.  It is a surprisingly difficult task.

Problem Numero B: The neck of a ketchup bottle is the size of a muther fracking pin hole.  Yes, let us pour BATTER into that.  How could this possibly go wrong?!

Problem Numero Third: Well ... the pictures speak for themselves.
make your batter ...
now I need something to pour the batter into the bottle with 
okay maybe it is user error,
maybe I went to fast,
lemme try that again ...
No. No, it still doesn't work.
Making sure I understand this, I could have had ONE mixing bowl
to clean and now I have three things?  This is easier how?
Just getting the damn thing loaded was annoying.  But then using it? Maybe that was where the easy part came into play, or so said the glitter eating hopeful unicorn that resides inside my head.

Perhaps it was because I had the "no drip" lying SOB bottle (damn thing didn't "drip," per-say  but it would squirt ketchup water with the force of a thousand fire hoses before any actual ketchup came out) but the thing clogged up like every ten seconds.  It was only good for like 5 waffles then needed refilled; I had more on my hands, counter and all the electronic parts of the freaking waffle maker than I would have had I used a blender without the lid on; AND it took me WAY longer to do this "simple" trick than I ever would have with the "old" and "complicated" way.

"no drip" cap
"modified no drip" cap
AKA: I took a steak knife to the damn thing 
Real Simple's website (where this idea apparently originated) is full of shit, and I am back to using a measuring cup and pouring stuff.  Screw the ketchup bottles, man.

This is just one of the lies Pintercrack tells, there are more ... so many more ...

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