Wednesday, August 22, 2012


So the husband and I have been trying to stash away enough cash to make it to a friend's wedding.  In our efforts to cut corners where we could so as to not create debit with this trip we were thinking about friends we could ask to just stay here that weekend to watch our dogs rather than need to send them to the place we love for dog sitting.  Surely we could find someone who'd want to just chill with our air conditioning, Wii, and dogs for a weekend.  And beer, we will buy you a 30 pack.

We narrowed it down to two good buddies, then one of them got back with his girlfriend ... and so that guy (nice as he is) dropped off my list.  When the husband asked why he was no longer on my list I replied that anyone who is in the Make-Up-Sex-Stage is not welcome in my home unsupervised.

I think I might need to Clorox the house just thinking about it.

This led to a train of thought in my husband that was decidedly male.  We need sex stages in our life.

Huh? I asked.

We don't argue, so we need something else.  We need replacements for Make Up Sex.

While this made me laugh, it did make me think.  I do not think that I am alone in my female perspective and approach towards nookie at the moment.  Its not that it is "bad," on the contrary its quite fabulous.  Its just that sleep is sooo good too.  I am not in love with my postpartum, aging body, so anything that requires disrobing is less than appealing.  I am worn out on the best of days.  My sleep is interrupted constantly, and no matter how much or little of it I get I still have to be up and going every morning.  The house cheerleader, the lone voice of reason and semi-cheer in a house of non-morning people.  So every second of precious sleep is valuable to me.  Its the only time no one is asking anything of me, pulling on me, crying to me, snotting/pooping/peeing on me ... you get the picture.  And I only get that breather for as long as the Beans sleeps.  Neither of my kiddos are sleep through the nighters.

So when faced with the option of mattress mambo or sleep ... yes, I admit that no matter how fabulously attractive I find my husband, no matter how gloriously toe curling he can make me feel ... there are times where the sleep is just a bit more appealing.

But the humorist and sarcastic twerp in me was intrigued at the idea of making up names for Make Up Sex replacements.  What does the responsible, monogamous, non-arguing couple have?  Here are some of my husband approved ideas.

"We are too broke for anything else" sex.
"It is Tuesday" sex
"Everything good on TV is already DVR'd" sex
"We had Mac N Cheese for dinner" sex
"He thinks stomaching through an episode from my The Tudors DVDs is four play" sex

His ideas were far simpler.

"Its day time" sex
"Why not?" sex

I think he got stuck there because in his mind the last one covered every possibility imaginable.

Coming up with funny names/reasons really isn't what I need -- a vacation and 20 fewer pounds is what I need.  Its reassuring to see that despite all my insecurities my husband apparently needs not reason, just enough oxygen.

So, am I the only one in this boat of seeing sleep as sometimes slightly more valuable overall?

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